The Strangest Retirement Sendoff I Have Ever Witnessed!

Moriyuchi had worked in our Tokyo office for nearly 30 years and today was his last day before taking an early retirement.  He sat at his desk most of the day, breaking a couple of times for a cigarette, for lunch, nothing unusual.  He remained at his desk during the afternoon, head down at his computer, working at a steady pace by all outward appearances.  At precisely 6:00 PM he stood up and walked towards the closet to grab his coat.  His coworkers, perhaps 20 persons in the office at that time all stood up, applauded, bowed at Mr. Moriyuchi who bowed deeply in return, put on his coat and without showing any emotion walked out the office door, presumably for the last time.  That was it!  Done!  No ceremony, no retirement party, nothing more.  Apart from the applause and bowing, nothing different from any normal working day.

I don't know if this is how things are normally done in Japan, but in most parts of the world when someone retires after many years of service they at least get a party, a dinner, lunch, something.  The way he simply worked his last day like any other, and then left his job, his career with only a little applause to mark this milestone in his life struck me as profoundly sad.

Cultures differ widely, and I clearly have a lot to learn about the Japanese.

Really! What Are They Trying To Say Here...

Ran across this sign last year in a park in Shenzhen.  This is not so much a translation error as a "WTF are they trying to say" thing.

 The meanings of some are quite clear, others, not so much.  The middle symbol in the top row for example. Does this mean "No Butterflies" (an odd regulation for a park I think, even in China), or perhaps "No Rorschach Testing"  The middle symbol in the second row is even more cryptic.  "No fishing for birds" perhaps?

Bad Translation #2

Seeing Amy's tea cup warning reminded me of this sign I saw on an elevator in Shenzhen last year.

"...not to touch their own" what?  Don't touch your own elevator?  Don't touch yourself in the elevator?  

Clearly they are trying to say "only staff are authorized to operate the elevator", but seriously guys - run these signs past a native English speaker first 

Bad Translation #1

I bought a few tea cups as gifts while in Hong Kong recently.  A friend, Amy, sent me the below picture from the one I gave her.  Shame on me for not reading the bottom of the box.  This is one of the funniest bad translations I have seen recently.  Thanks Amy for the good laugh

The Map!

In preparation for my next trip, I was cleaning out my backpack from the vacation in New Orleans and I ran across the map which the manager of the bike rental shop gave me.  This was the map on which he used a big red marker to denote the areas to avoid, and a yellow highlighter to indicate the safe routes.  There's a lot of red on this map...

I leave for Japan tomorrow, followed by Hong Kong and China.

New Orleans Is a Great Walking City. Just Watch Where You Walk!

During my recent 4 days in New Orleans, I must have walked 30 miles.  This is, I think a fair estimate.  There are so many interesting things to see and you stumble upon things around nearly every corner.  Like this place, for example:

 Cajun Mike's Pub & Grubb.  An absolute "hole in the wall" dive bar with some truly unique and really tasty sandwiches.  I had the Cochon de Lais Po' Boy with roast pork, pickles, fries and a brown sauce, all on french bread.  This ain't diet food, but I'm on vacation dammit.

Walking here, or biking as we did one day requires some local advice.  New Orleans has some neighborhoods which are tourist-friendly, and many that are decidedly not.  When we rented bicycles this past Sunday, the manager of the bike shop pulled out a map of the city and started drawing big red "X's" across entire neighborhoods.    "If you want to go to Audubon Park, stay between St. Charles and Magazine St.   If you are going to City Park, stay on Esplanade.  Don't go here, here, here, here, here or here." he continued as he marked.  We took his advice and had a great time.

Below are some pictures, mostly from the French Quarter.

The Central Grocery Was a Big Disappointment

More often than not, the "original" of whatever food you want to discuss is, if not the best, at least pretty darned good.  I have seen this time and time again.  You can't get a proper Cheesesteak outside of Philly.  You can't get a good Italian Beef outside of Chicago.  I rarely even try anymore.  So this trip to New Orleans, I was excited to try the "original" Muffuletta.

 I had this sandwich on my first trip to New Orleans maybe 12 years ago.  I had tired of all of the crappy tourist food along Bourbon Street and asked the guy parking cars at our hotel where he goes for lunch.  This, by the way is truly sage advice.  The people working the lowest jobs in the hotel nearly always know where the best food can be had, especially cheap food like sandwiches, soups, etc...  Try it sometime!  Anyway, the parking attendant gave me walking directions to a place nearby, still in the French Quarter, but a little off the beaten path, and he suggested I order a muffuletta.  I had never heard of it, but I was game, and as it turns out, it was really, really good.  One of the best sandwiches I had ever eaten.  

If you haven't had one, it may seem a bit strange.  But just because it is made from those strange deli meats you see in the display case but you never see anyone ordering ever (mortadella, olive loaf, etc...),  and even though it gets topped with a salad made from chopped olives, cauliflower and other vegetables, don't let that stop you from trying one.  It is really, really, really good...when it is done right.

This sandwich is native to New Orleans, and although most sandwich shops offer one, the Central Grocery is generally recognized as having created it.  My wife and I went there this past Tuesday, ordered one to go, and took it up to a park atop the levee to eat it.  What a disappointment.  It had not nearly enough meat and cheese to go with the bread, the olive salad and the bread were overly salty, and the whole thing managed to be somehow dry and oily at the same time.  I'm not sure how that is possible but I now know it is.  We couldn't finish it.  What a bummer

But don't let this dissuade you from trying a muffuletta if you venture to New Orleans.  Just don't get it from the Central Grocery!

Who's Buried in Nicholas Cage's Tomb?

I am guessing no one yet, at least let's hope not. While walking through St. Louis Cemetery No. 1 during my recent vacation in New Orleans, a fellow tourist pointed out to me a new tomb.  I was told, as he had been a few moments earlier, that this stone pyramid had just been built and paid for by Nicholas Cage.  Apparently he plans to be buried there someday.

Perhaps he is just hiding his acting ability here. It hasn't been seen for a while...

A later web search confirmed that this is at least a well circulated rumor...   An interesting encounter nonetheless.  Below are some more pictures from the cemetery.

Most of the tombs in this cemetery are in rather poor repair.  This is not surprising considering some of these date back to the 1700's and most probably have no living family in the area to maintain them.  At any rate, it was kind of sad to see some of these quite literally crumbling.

A nasty night in Amsterdam

No, I don't mean "nasty" in that way.  I just mean that as cool a place as this city is, cold and rainy is still just cold and rainy - nasty weather sucks no matter where you are.

I am staying at the Krasnapolsky Hotel on Dam Square.  Heart of the city, on the fringe of the Red Light District - a terrific spot to just wander and observe the place where most vices are legal.  If you were so inclined, you could buy weed in a local "Coffee Shop", walk across the street and share that doobie with the girl of your dreams, or at least the girl of your dreams for the next 20 minutes.

"Window Shopping", as it is known here is something that everyone should experience at least once.  I don't think this sort of thing exists anyplace else.  The girls in the windows are dressed, albeit barely dressed, and people of all stripes, entire families even wander past, point, gawk, ogle, and in most cases display embarrassed smiles.

But this night I was having none of it.  It was 34 degrees F, rainy and windy. I set out to do some sightseeing but after about 10 minutes I decided this was pretty much the opposite of fun.  I gave up and returned to the hotel.

Overnight it snowed.  A few pictures from Dam Square across from the hotel

Czech Haiku #1

It's rainy and cold.

Does the sun ever shine here?

Another "Bud", please!



A German, a Brit, a Czech and an American walk into a bar...

This sounds like the beginning of a pretty good joke.  If I ever think of a punch line, I will let you know.  But nonetheless, the four of us did walk into a bar or two while traveling through the Czech Republic, and the beer was rather good I must say.  Czech's apparently like their beer.  I was introduced to Pilsner Urquell many years ago and I often choose this when I am in the mood for a lighter-tasting brew. 

If you order a "Bud" in the Czech Republic, you need to be more specific...

I was also introduced to, what the locals claim to be the original Budweiser.  I didn't know this, but there are apparently three beers called Budweiser in the world.  One is the "OK in a pinch" brew from St. Louis, the other two coming from the beer's namesake town in Czech.  I tried one, known as Budweiser Budvar - much better than the one at home, which I realize is not saying much.

Where is the Czech?

I am not sure that I have ever visited a country, yet seen so little of it as during this trip to the Czech Republic.  It is winter, this country is about as far north as southern Canada, and the days are accordingly short.  It was dark when I left the airport on the day I arrived.  It was dark when I rode to my customer on the first day.  It was raining the second day, and much of the last day was spent in the back seat of a small car with dirty windows.  I hope I get the chance to come back some day as what little I did get to see looked rather nice.  Here are a few pictures:




The Pilsner Urquell brewery in Pilsn.  The birthplace of Pilsner beer.  Perhaps the closest I have ever been to "holy ground"

 

Morning view from the Corinthia Hotel in Prague





Beer keg delivery in Pilsn.  For the tourists, no doubt.

The highlight of the trip was having lunch in the Pilsner Urquell brewery where they have a very nice restaurant. I had venison goulash with fresh grated horseradish and dumplings.  Traditional Czech food and really, really good. 

Had a beer too...

Prague in particular looks like it would be an interesting place to spend a few days.  I did get to ride through the city center (in the back of the tiny car with dirty windows...) and the place really seemed to have an old world feel to it.  Maybe next trip I will have more time...

Death, tax free!

Ben Franklin famously said "...in this world, nothing can be said to be certain except death and taxes."  Let it be known that at least in the Dusseldorf airport, death can be had tax-free.

If you get me tired enough, I will eat almost anything...

The trip to Europe was uneventful - always a good thing when air travel is involved.  But after 8 hours to Paris, a 5 hour layover, another 1-1/2 hour flight to Prague where I had to wait 4 hours for all of my companions to arrive, and then a 3 hour drive to Olomouc in the eastern Czech Republic, I was to put it mildly "a bit tired" when we finally arrived.  Including my time in the Minneapolis airport before departure, I spent more time sitting in airports than I did in flight.  That just seems wrong.




View from the NH Hotel in Olomouc, Czech.


As I generally avoid airline food unless I am absolutely desperate, I had not eaten anything save a banana since Paris and I was famished when we reached our hotel, as were my companions.  Fortunately, the hotel restaurant was still open and the food was quite good, albeit a little strange.  I ordered the roast pork loin and "pig trotter".  Had I been less tired, I would have first asked what a "trotter" was, or at least I would have deduced what it might be. But alas, there is an inverse relationship between sleep deprivation and mental agility. Click on this link and  Say hello to dinner!

It tasted better than it looks, but like eating chicken feet in China, I had to try and think past what my dinner had been "trotting" through...

My companions for this trip are a Brit, a German and a Czech.  This is my first trip to the Czech Republic, and actually my first travel "behind the iron curtail" as we used to call it.  My schedule sadly is very tight and I doubt I will get to do any sightseeing, but we will see.

Airfare Logic - an oxymoron if ever there was one!

I have traveled a lot.  To those of you who read this blog occasionally, that should not come as a shock.  So why am I stating the obvious?  Only to emphasize this next point;  As much as I fly, and as many times as I have to make and change airline reservations, I am no closer to understanding the enigma of the airfare pricing model than I was the first time I stepped on a plane.  It is a complete mystery to me and it ain't gettin' any clearer. 

Case in point.  I am flying next week to Europe on Delta; Minneapolis to Prague via Paris, and returning Dusseldorf to Minneapolis via Amsterdam.  Simple enough, I suppose.  The original airfare was just over $2000.   However, a little digging about turned up a cheaper option.  If I were to spend the night in Amsterdam and fly back home the next day, the fare was only $1000 - half the price, and all I had to do was kill some time in Amsterdam...(its a tough job, I know...).  Even after adding in a hotel and some meals and taxis I was still saving the company over $600.  But this is not the part I fail to understand. 

I know that airlines, hotels, and even tourism boards have some agreements in which they try to make a longer stay more attractive.  I get that. What I don't get is this:  I tried a few moments ago to eliminate one leg of my flight home.  I could drop the Dusseldorf to Amsterdam leg, instead taking a train to Amsterdam from Belgium.  I would still be on the same flight back to America.  I would still be at the same hotel in Amsterdam.  The only difference to the airline is they would be able to sell my now vacant seat from Dusseldorf to Amsterdam to someone else.  They could even charge me the same $1000 airfare and everyone would win, right?  Well, apparently not.  Dropping that one leg off of the flight adds $700 to my airfare and I am not willing to pay it.  So now, thanks to whatever f'd up algorithm Delta is using to compute pricing, they miss an opportunity to increase revenue, Eurail misses a fare opportunity, and I will ride 3 hours in a car back to Dusseldorf just to hop on a plane the next day and fly back almost to where I started from. 

From "win-win" to "lose-lose".  Nice job guys!

Sexual Harassment in the Workplace?

I was in a meeting in Japan recently, at a customer's plant having discussions with their Purchasing team when Miss Saiguma entered the room.  I had met her once before in another meeting in China.  She is younger than most people I work with, mid twenties perhaps, rather pretty, but also somewhat shy.  One of the Purchasing Managers, a man of maybe 50, gesturing towards me commented to the others in the room "I think he only came here today so he could see Saiguma-san again."  This comment caught me off guard, I did not really know how to react so I just smiled but didn't otherwise reply.  He continued.  "You must take special care with Saiguma.  Pretty young girls are unusual in Purchasing.  We want her to stay for long time!"  Saiguma did not seem phased by any of this.  I felt a bit embarrassed.

As the meeting wore on, there were more comments about Saiguma's beauty, her smile, her youth.  Nothing vulgar was said, but clearly the standards for what is acceptable to discuss in a business environment are different in Japan.  To be sure, the strictness with which codes of conduct are adhered to vary greatly even in the US.  Small companies often put up with behaviors that would never be tolerated in the Fortune 500.  But this was not a small company.  In fact it was one of the largest corporations in Japan - in the world for that matter.

I am still not sure what to make of the whole thing.  Miss Saiguma did not act offended by or even uncomfortable with the comments.  At least if she was uncomfortable, she did not let on.  However, the whole exchange made me uneasy.  Who knows - maybe I offended her by not adding my own "compliments". 

I know cultures around the world are different, and Japan is very new to me.  I work pretty hard to assimilate in most situations wherever I travel, but some things just go against my nature...

In My Defense - Maybe the Last Word On Eating Blowfish...

I have received no small amount of grief from a few of you for sampling blow fish in China a few weeks back due to the potential danger of paralysis and death.  Well today, my wife (among the grief givers...) sent me the following link along with the comment "Interesting Article".

http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/27/travel/travel-resolutions/index.html


I agree the article was interesting, and I believe this supports my position.  Trying blow fish falls pretty neatly within "Resolution #7 - Do at least one thing that scares you while you are on the road".  Eating potentially deadly food is scary to be sure, but statistically speaking your odds are much greater of dying an unexpected death from any number of everyday activities (driving a car, bicycling, living in Chicago...all of which I have done, enjoyed, and survived thus far) than eating an improperly prepared puffer fish.  Life is dangerous!  If you don't take a few chances, you will miss out on a lot.

'nuff said on this subject I think...

So That's What Was Wrong With My Blowfish...

I told my American/Japanese colleague Hugo about my experience eating blowfish in China.  Hugo asked how it had been prepared.  When I told him it was served more or less whole in a broth, he scoffed.  "Blowfish sashimi is the only way to eat this fish, and it is amazing!"  He then added "...if it doesn't kill you!"  Hugo, aware of the risks has eaten this many times but insists on only eating from a certain restaurant where he knows the chef underwent the proper training.  Maybe next time...

Economy Comfort My A$$!

If you have flown much at all, I am sure you have done this yourself.  You board the aircraft, take your seat, and at once start scanning the people still coming down the aisle, your fellow passengers, wondering who will be your neighbor for the next few hours.  I realize of course that my watching will not in any way affect the outcome, but I can't help doing this.  Why?  Well I often say, and I believe this, that every flight that both takes off and lands is a good flight.  "Good", however is a relative measure.  A few bumps, a little delay, a defective video screen, none of these really matter; in fact they are more or less the norm.  But who you are sitting next to can mean the difference between a pleasant journey and  the kind of trip that makes you think evil thoughts!  And the longer the flight, the more vile the thoughts become. 

Who are these bad neighbors?  They are many and varied, but they can be categorized. 

• "The Talker".  The man or woman who thinks I really care to hear about their grandchildren, their job, or their views on politics.  You might think this is the worst of all, and they are annoying to be sure, but can easily be drowned out with an iPod and by completely ignoring them with closed eyes for a few minutes - the densest of them eventually get the picture.
• "The Newsie".  The guy who insists on reading the Financial Times front to back with elbows spread beyond the confines of the armrest.  I am a pretty easy going guy, but a few elbow jabs to the ribs will make me downright territorial. 
• "The Brat".  The only thing worse than having little Trevor or Brittney sitting next to you is having them behind you, practicing punting or ballet steps on the back of your seat.  There is no good way to complain about this one, no defense.  You will be looked on as the bad guy.
• "Perfume Lady".  The worst of the worst.  Perfume should be banned on aircraft, period.  The TSA can sniff out explosives, I am sure technology exists to detect a copious application of "Eau de Nasty".  No defense against this one either, you have to breathe.

So where am I going with this?  On Wednesday I boarded my flight from Tokyo to Minneapolis, took my aisle seat, and began my scan.  "He looks OK. She looks like no problem.  Woman with infant?  Whew, she passed by..."  and on and on.   Then I saw her!  Five foot ten, 350 pounds, so wide she brushed the seats on both sides of the aisle as she waddled towards me.  "Please no, please no, not this one!" I thought silently.  But as fate would have it, she had the middle seat next to me.

Now I realize that I carry a quite a few extra pounds myself, but I do fit within the confines of an airline coach seat.  Not this woman.  She had to wedge her girth between the armrests so tight that both rests creaked as they splayed outward.  Her flab enveloped the armrest, and her right arm protruded well past.  Pressed against the aisle armrest, pushed to the right so I could not even sit straight, nowhere else to go, there was no way to avoid physical contact...FOR ELEVEN HOURS!  I thought I could just find another seat, and after takeoff I looked, but the flight was completely full.  I resigned myself to my fate.  I sat perched like an hour hand pointing at one o'clock for the remainder of the flight.

I thought of asking her "Are you planning to pay me for the 10% of my seat which you are occupying?"   I didn't.  I suppose I am too polite for that.  There was nothing to be gained by embarrassing her.  And in hind sight she was not rude.  She did not try to start a conversation.  And best of all, she was not wearing perfume!  But I did pay for a seat, not 90% of a seat.  A person that large should pay for a space large enough to contain them, either 2 coach seats or one in first class.

...but in the end the flight landed, so I guess that makes it OK.

A Trip to the Shanghai Museum

I had a free weekend in Shanghai a couple of weeks ago, and since it seems like all I ever do is work when I come to this city, I decided to see some sights.  The highlight of the day was a walk through the Shanghai Museum which houses 5000 years of Chinese art and artifacts; everything from jade and coins to furniture and ceramics.  It is free, but go early as the line to enter gets very long.  

The Shanghai Museum on Peoples Square

It seems like much of Chinese art is intended to scare the crap out of someone.  A couple of my favorite pieces are below

The sign next to this piece did not say what it represents, but judging by the horns and evil expression, I am going with "Imperial Tax Collector"