In My Defense - Maybe the Last Word On Eating Blowfish...

I have received no small amount of grief from a few of you for sampling blow fish in China a few weeks back due to the potential danger of paralysis and death.  Well today, my wife (among the grief givers...) sent me the following link along with the comment "Interesting Article".

http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/27/travel/travel-resolutions/index.html


I agree the article was interesting, and I believe this supports my position.  Trying blow fish falls pretty neatly within "Resolution #7 - Do at least one thing that scares you while you are on the road".  Eating potentially deadly food is scary to be sure, but statistically speaking your odds are much greater of dying an unexpected death from any number of everyday activities (driving a car, bicycling, living in Chicago...all of which I have done, enjoyed, and survived thus far) than eating an improperly prepared puffer fish.  Life is dangerous!  If you don't take a few chances, you will miss out on a lot.

'nuff said on this subject I think...

So That's What Was Wrong With My Blowfish...

I told my American/Japanese colleague Hugo about my experience eating blowfish in China.  Hugo asked how it had been prepared.  When I told him it was served more or less whole in a broth, he scoffed.  "Blowfish sashimi is the only way to eat this fish, and it is amazing!"  He then added "...if it doesn't kill you!"  Hugo, aware of the risks has eaten this many times but insists on only eating from a certain restaurant where he knows the chef underwent the proper training.  Maybe next time...

Economy Comfort My A$$!

If you have flown much at all, I am sure you have done this yourself.  You board the aircraft, take your seat, and at once start scanning the people still coming down the aisle, your fellow passengers, wondering who will be your neighbor for the next few hours.  I realize of course that my watching will not in any way affect the outcome, but I can't help doing this.  Why?  Well I often say, and I believe this, that every flight that both takes off and lands is a good flight.  "Good", however is a relative measure.  A few bumps, a little delay, a defective video screen, none of these really matter; in fact they are more or less the norm.  But who you are sitting next to can mean the difference between a pleasant journey and  the kind of trip that makes you think evil thoughts!  And the longer the flight, the more vile the thoughts become. 

Who are these bad neighbors?  They are many and varied, but they can be categorized. 

• "The Talker".  The man or woman who thinks I really care to hear about their grandchildren, their job, or their views on politics.  You might think this is the worst of all, and they are annoying to be sure, but can easily be drowned out with an iPod and by completely ignoring them with closed eyes for a few minutes - the densest of them eventually get the picture.
• "The Newsie".  The guy who insists on reading the Financial Times front to back with elbows spread beyond the confines of the armrest.  I am a pretty easy going guy, but a few elbow jabs to the ribs will make me downright territorial. 
• "The Brat".  The only thing worse than having little Trevor or Brittney sitting next to you is having them behind you, practicing punting or ballet steps on the back of your seat.  There is no good way to complain about this one, no defense.  You will be looked on as the bad guy.
• "Perfume Lady".  The worst of the worst.  Perfume should be banned on aircraft, period.  The TSA can sniff out explosives, I am sure technology exists to detect a copious application of "Eau de Nasty".  No defense against this one either, you have to breathe.

So where am I going with this?  On Wednesday I boarded my flight from Tokyo to Minneapolis, took my aisle seat, and began my scan.  "He looks OK. She looks like no problem.  Woman with infant?  Whew, she passed by..."  and on and on.   Then I saw her!  Five foot ten, 350 pounds, so wide she brushed the seats on both sides of the aisle as she waddled towards me.  "Please no, please no, not this one!" I thought silently.  But as fate would have it, she had the middle seat next to me.

Now I realize that I carry a quite a few extra pounds myself, but I do fit within the confines of an airline coach seat.  Not this woman.  She had to wedge her girth between the armrests so tight that both rests creaked as they splayed outward.  Her flab enveloped the armrest, and her right arm protruded well past.  Pressed against the aisle armrest, pushed to the right so I could not even sit straight, nowhere else to go, there was no way to avoid physical contact...FOR ELEVEN HOURS!  I thought I could just find another seat, and after takeoff I looked, but the flight was completely full.  I resigned myself to my fate.  I sat perched like an hour hand pointing at one o'clock for the remainder of the flight.

I thought of asking her "Are you planning to pay me for the 10% of my seat which you are occupying?"   I didn't.  I suppose I am too polite for that.  There was nothing to be gained by embarrassing her.  And in hind sight she was not rude.  She did not try to start a conversation.  And best of all, she was not wearing perfume!  But I did pay for a seat, not 90% of a seat.  A person that large should pay for a space large enough to contain them, either 2 coach seats or one in first class.

...but in the end the flight landed, so I guess that makes it OK.

A Trip to the Shanghai Museum

I had a free weekend in Shanghai a couple of weeks ago, and since it seems like all I ever do is work when I come to this city, I decided to see some sights.  The highlight of the day was a walk through the Shanghai Museum which houses 5000 years of Chinese art and artifacts; everything from jade and coins to furniture and ceramics.  It is free, but go early as the line to enter gets very long.  

The Shanghai Museum on Peoples Square

It seems like much of Chinese art is intended to scare the crap out of someone.  A couple of my favorite pieces are below

The sign next to this piece did not say what it represents, but judging by the horns and evil expression, I am going with "Imperial Tax Collector"

"Just don't feed me anything weird!" My Wife's First Asian Adventure

For our twenty-fifth anniversary, I promised my wife a trip, a vacation somewhere distant and unusual.  Having some experience in the "distant and unusual" places department, I had a few possible destinations in mind, but really Hong Kong was my first and final choice. 

I chose Hong Kong for several reasons. 

1. Ease - Traveling to Hong Kong does not require a visa.  While technically part of China, Hong Kong is independently governed and has its own immigration policies.  Plus the local train system is easy to navigate, takes you everywhere you need to go, and you can ride all day for $6.
2. Language - Roughly one-third of Hong Kong residents speak some english - a big help in this part of the world
3. Food - Kong Kong is a truly global city and has great restaurants - if you want food choices that are not Chinese, you will have no problem finding them here
4. Shopping - From shopping malls which litterally go for blocks to crowded outdoor markets, many options to choose from
5. Scenery - There is no more beautiful skyline in the world than Hong Kong, day or night. 

We had five days together on the ground, and we managed to hit most of the things we wanted to see.  Here are some highlights:

The "Big Buddha" and monestary on Lantau Island - reached via cable car...

Victoria Peak on Hong Kong Island

The Star Ferry - an ancient fleet of boats which cross Victoria Harbor between Hong Kong Island and Kowloon.  Costs a whopping $0.35 and gives a great view of the city

The Ladies Market and the Temple Street Night Market

The "Supermarket"

A great light show at night

More to come...

Lights-Out on the Shinkansen

On Friday, Hugo and I had to travel to Shizuoka which required riding three separate trains, one of which was the Shinkansen, better know as the "Bullet Train".  Japan built the first bullet train in the 1960's, and today it's many lines serve as a principle means of transport between many cities.  In a word, "Wow!"  Super fast, quiet, smooth and comfortable, this is a great way to travel,  See the video link below taken as we passed Mt. Fuji at 170 mph.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwnwJecFw9M&feature=g-crec-u

On the return trip, we were approaching the station at Yokohama when the train suddenly went dark and we coasted slowly to a stop.  We sat in darkness for a few minutes when I asked Hugo if this was normal.  "No, this never happens", he said.  An announcement come shortly over the PA which Hugo translated for me.  A major earthquake had occurred and the train system was shut down as a precaution.  We sat in complete darkness except for some emergency lighting near the car exit for 15 more minutes during which we found news on the earthquake, a 7.3 magnitude "aftershock" from the massive 9.0 quake last year which damaged the Fukushima nuke plant had occurred off shore.  Buildings in Tokyo swayed violently, tsunami warnings were issued, but no serious damage was apparent.  Had we not been on the moving train, we surely would have felt this.  A few minutes later the lights came on, the train proceded on tis way, and 20 minutes later we emerged at Tokyo Station where everything was normal - just another day in Japan...

In the wake of last year's earthquake, my company's Tokyo office has updated their emergency planning.  The office now stocks 2 days worth of water and food, plus has blankets and a heat source to accomodate the entire staff.  Senior Managers are required to carry satelite phones at all times - the cell phone system completely crashed during the 3/11 quake.  All of this is necessary as during the 3/11 quake, the Tokyo train system shut down and many people were stranded for days.  These measures are apparently common practice now for Japanese businesses.

One more picture from Mt. Fuji

If You Wanted to Bring Japan to a Standstill...

...all you would need to do is make every crosswalk sign read "Don't Walk"

Love the hat!

To get from my hotel in Tachikawa, Tokyo to my company's office takes around 15 minutes on foot.  It's a pleasant walk; many shops and restaurants along the way, narrow streets and mostly 2 and 3 story older buildings.  One of the first things you notice here is how little car traffic there is.  This seems really odd in such a huge city, but most people commute via the city's vast train system. 

While walking to the office yesterday morning, I came to an intersection between two small side streets where the traffic light was red and the "Don't Walk" sign was illuminated.  Several other people were at the same crossing.  I looked left and right, ahead and behind and there was not a single moving vehicle in sight anywhere, yet everyone stood motionless.  The other side of the road was no more than 20 feet away, no possible danger of being run down, yet nobody moved.  Once the light changed, everyone crossed.  At the next intersection, the same thing happened.

When I arrived at the office, I related this story to Hugo, my contact here who grew up in America but has lived in Tokyo for the past 18 years.  He smiled in recognition of my bewilderment.  "All you have to remember...", he told me, "...is that the Japanese follow rules. If a rule is set down, nearly everyone will obey it." 

After watching the behavior of the people in Tokyo for a couple of days now, I can see Hugo's point.  Peolpe here seem exceptionally well behaved, respectful, polite, and mannerly.  the Japanese form orderly lines, give up seats to the elderly, and only smoke in designated smoking areas which appear to be few even in open spaces.  Absolutely no one talks on their cell phones on buses and trains.  After a week in Shanghai, what a contrast!

Ten Things I Hate About China

I guess I had to do a "Top Ten List" eventually...  After spending a considerable amount of time here over the past six years, I feel I know the place well enough to comment on some of the things in China I find most discomforting as a westerner.  These are in no particular order.

Water - Don't even think about drinking from a tap or eating anything raw that may have touched water at some point in the past.  If you feel like living on the edge, you can try brushing your teeth with tap water.  Dangerous bacteria aside, there is no telling what the water here contains.  I'm not even sure I trust the bottled water...

Air - Some days, the air quality in places like Shanghai and Wuxi where I travel often can only be described as mind-blowingly nasty.  I can't recall how many cloudless days I have seen here where the sky was some color other than blue. 

Spitting - All manner of people do this.  Walking along a crowded sidewalk, and hearing from behind a deep, nasty, from down around the ankles throat-clearing sound, followed by the inevitable "thoooop" of a wad of spit being ejected, all I can think of is "I hope his or her aim is good and I hope they are not aiming for me!"

Drivers - I have written a lot about Chinese drivers over the years.  They range from criminally discourteous to downright dangerous.   Strangely though, after six years of traveling in China I am starting to just accept the chaos that is Chinese road travel.  Or maybe after visiting India, the Chinese don't seem so bad by comparison...

Queues - This is a bit of a misnomer in China - queues in the sense of people forming an orderly line really don't exist here.  Chinese line up the same way they drive, or maybe it's the other way around

Smoking - China is full of smokers, and provincial governments subsidize tobacco to keep the tax revenue from tobacco purchases flowing.  A pack of cigarettes generally runs 10 RMB, about $1.50.   Restaurants, bars, hotel lobbies - smoking is permitted almost everywhere.  I don't need to start smoking again, I just need to spend more time in China to get my daily nicotine ration.

Bone Fragments - Meat dishes in China are nearly always cooked "bone-in" and then hacked into bite-sized pieces with a cleaver before serving.  Inevitably, small shrapnel of bone winds up in your food, especially with poultry.  Chew at your own risk!

Cell Phone Service - Just because you have a signal doesn't mean you have service.  Just because you have service doesn't mean your data connection will work. I regularly go from 5 bars on the signal meter to zero and back again in the space of a few minutes without moving.   Calls to the outside world from Shanghai normally require 5 or 6 tries, and sometimes I just give up.  In Shenzhen, the email on my iPhone will be useless for 2 or 3 days at a time, and then without changing a thing I will get 3 days worth of backed-up messages. 

Internet - Apart from the annoyance of frequent interruptions, China polices its Internet usage carefully and to that end, many sites like YouTube and Blogger are blocked entirely.  Do a Google search on a taboo subject and you will find you have lost all Internet connectivity for a day or two.  Without the use of a proxy server through work, I would be largely unproductive here

Toilets - Squat toilets are appauling and flush toilets don't work properly (except at the Nan Hai hotel as previously noted). 

Ten Things I Love About China

Just in case you thought my view of China was all bad, it's not.  In fact, I really like traveling here.  Here is some of the good stuff - again in no particular order...

Chopsticks - At first, using chopsticks was a source of anxiety for me in China - I just knew I was being watched every time I dropped food on my lap.  However, since my chopstick skills have improved, I have to admit that they make some things actually easier to eat.  It is much harder to pick up a piece of lettuce from a salad with a fork.  Sticky rice is nearly impossible to eat with a spoon, but it's a breeze with chopsticks.  I suppose these are perfectly adapted for Chinese food where most everything is served in bite-sized pieces

Taxis - Cabs in China are plentiful and cheap.  Most rides cost less than $5 if you are not going too far.  So long as you can communicate where you are going and so long as the driver uses the meter, there is no easier way to get around

Security - During my six years of travel here, I have never felt the least bit threatened while walking about in Shanghai and Shenzhen, even at night.  I don't go out of my way to test this, but I have been far off the beaten path many times without incident.  My local colleagues confirm that incidents of people getting mugged are extremely rare

Roads - Please note I mean the roads themselves - not the overall driving experience.  The Chinese government has invested heavily in roads, and if you removed the Chinese drivers, you would have some of the safest roads in the world.  The highways are smooth,  in good repair, feature long sweeping turns, continuous guard rails on both sides, and they have hedges or other dividers separating travelers going opposite directions to prevent being blinded by oncoming headlights.  Chinese highways have the feel of the German Autobahns

Soup - Chinese soups kick ass!  They are some of the best I have had anywhere.

Skylines - China's cities have very modern skylines, most of the taller buildings being 15 years old or less and full of ornamentation and bling.  Just look at the photo below.  Enough said

Shanghai at night!

Haggling - I'll admit it, I love to haggle and the Chinese are very worthy adversaries.  Hagging here is a way of life.  Where else can you negotiate the price of beer with a bartender!

Duck - You haven't tried duck until you've had it in China.  Eating Beijing duck served with dark sauce and tiny crepes is a life changing experience

Foot Massage - Nowhere else does this art exist, and nowhere else in the world can you legally pay to have a sixteen year-old girl beat the crap out of you.  See the posting from a few years ago for a full description

Hotels - You get a lot more hotel room for your money in many Chinese cities. Marble bathrooms, walk in showers, and king sized beds are the norm, and most cost around $120 a night in places like Shanghai.  I've paid more than that for a room in a crappy Holiday Inn in the US where you cant even get warm food.

Two of the Weirder Stories from Today's 'China Daily'

I love reading the China Daily, China's english language newspaper / propaganda rag.  Two stories from this morning stand out. 

The first story was headlined "7 Imprisoned in Kidney Trading Case".  It appears a Hunan teenager sold one of his kidneys in exchange for an iPad and an iPhone - they paper did not indicate what he previously traded his brain for.  A surgeon and a few others will do 5 years each.

The second story involved wild animal poaching and the consumption of exotic creatures in Chinese restaurants.  The acticle was not remarkable, but I now know that the market price for monkey brain is $115 a pound.

Blowfish Soup Anyone?

Simply dining in China could make a fine episode of "Fear Factor".  I must admit I never actually watched that program, but I caught short glimpses of it while channel surfing on many occasions - I couldn't help pausing for a moment or two on the sight of a woman eating live worms.  Anyway, Fear Factor seemed to focus largely on making contestants eat things that were disgusting, but not necessarily dangerous - the network has lawyers after all.  In China, the stakes get somewhat higher.

Yesterday at lunch, a seafood restaurant, Larry and I were walking past the tanks of live fish deciding which will live and which will die when we came upon a tank of puffer fish.  Larry asked if I wanted to try this, and knowing well that he sometimes tries to get me to eat things he would not try himself, I made sure he will be having the same - he agreed.

After placing our order, something began to gnaw at me.  There was something about eating puffer fish that was dangerous, but I couldn't remember what it was.  I asked Larry if he knew about the dangers of eating this fish, to which he replied "Ah yes, will kill you if not prepared by expert".  to which he added "Don't worry, I eat here once before and I not die".  Thanks Larry, I feel much better now.

Say hello to lunch!

Puffer fish, or blow fish as they are also called contain a strong neurotoxin in certain organs and their skin, and they have to be prepared by an expert chef to remove the deadly parts without accidentally contaminating the meat.  The toxin is powerful, and will completly paralyse a person but leave him fully conscious, at least until he stops breathing.  There is no antidote, and the only chance for survival is to place the victim on life support until the toxin is metabolized.  Bon appetit!

My puffer fish arrived in a bowl, complete with head, tail and all, taking his last swim as it were in a tasty, creamy seafood broth with tofu and chives.  Sadly, when cooked he no longer looked puffy, but rather deflated like a flat tire.  I thought about declining, but after learning that only 50 or so people die every year from eating this fish across all of Asia, I figured the odds were probably greater that I would die today from one of Shanghai's many other dangers, like Larry's driving for example.  I ate it, some of it at least.  The fish tasted rather like fish, unremarkable I thought, and difficult to separate the meat from whatever was holding onto it - we'll call it the innertube.  And after a half hour or so, pleased that I could still feel and move my extremities, we declared lunch a success.  I will live to see another day...

Whoa! Do I Want WHAT?

Sitting in a nicer than normal drinking establishment in Shanghai last night after dinner, watching a DVD of a Live Aid concert on the oversized flat screen above the bar, one of the bar girls tapped me on the shoulder and said something into my ear that I could not make out - the music was pretty loud.  "What?", I said, "I couldn't hear you".  This time she yelled "You wanna head?"  Wow, I thought, that's pretty down to business.

I am sorry to say my mind went straight to the gutter, but even in China this is not a normal approach from a girl who looked more interested in hustling drinks than anything else.  "What did you say?" I asked, hoping to clarify - my mind was pretty confused by this point.   "I say, you wanna head?  Uck head?" she yelled back over a blaring Bono.  "Uck head?  What the hell is uck head?" I asked back.  She started pantomiming something with her hands that looked like a clam shell opening and closing.  "Wack, wack wack" she said as she opened and closed the clam shell over and over.  WTF?  Wack?  Head?  This can't be right, I thought.

I am sure that my face displayed complete bewilderment as she rolled her eyes at my total lack of comprehension.  She quickly walked around the bar, reached into a small fridge and whipped out a plastic bag of something I could not make out through the condensation.  She reached into the bag and pulled out a roasted duck head. "Oh!  DUCK head?  Do I want to eat a duck head!" I said, blushing by this point.  Boy did I have that wrong.

 "Um, no thanks... Had dinner already..."

She and another girl had one each.  I tried not to look...

Welcome to (cough) Shanghai (cough, wheeze, cough...)



A typical morning sky,  shot from the Ramada Gateway Plaza


 In most of the world we have two primary sky colors; blue and gray, and you can go to sleep secure in the knowledge that tomorrow, you are quite likely to be looking at one or the other.  In Shanghai, however, you have a few more possibilities. This morning the sky was an odd yellowish brown color.  Yes, you read that right and I am not exagerating, the sky was f&%$@#$ brown, and the air carried with it a vague chemical odor.  All those years of smoking I did may have done less damage to my lungs than just breathing in Shanghai.

You Know You Travel Too Much When...

There are times when you want to be recognized, like when you pass through the doorway of your grandmother's house, or a favorite restaurant.  It's a good feeling to know you are in familiar surroundings and are welcomed.  This is one of the things community is based on.

 In some situations, however, recognition could be a sign you are quite frankly doing too much of something.  There are any number of doorways you can walk past where your don't want to hear your name yelled from within; donut shops, strip clubs, liquor stores, rehab centers... the list could go on.  I am really OK with vices and bad habits, but like all things moderation is the key.  Too much of anything will kill you.

So where am I going with this?  Today I arrived at the Delta ticket counter in Minneapolis to check a bag for my trip to Shanghai, and the ticket agent knew my name before I even handed him my boarding pass.  Perhaps he just has an extraordinary memory, or maybe this is a sign of something.  I am not calling travel a vice, heck this is my job after all, but this does make one thing clear - I am spending a lot of time in airports... 

By Request - More Pictures from Recoleta Cemetery

Most days while traveling for work end up being long ones.  It's not uncommon to leave the hotel by 7:00 am and not return until 8:00 at night, and then spend 2-3 hours getting caught up on emails.  Some trips offer no time for sightseeing at all, so days like this one in Buenos Aires are really appreciated.

All photos were taken with an iPhone on a mostly overcast day.  I am overall impressed with the quality of this built-in camera.

Two Free Hours in Buenos Aires

I was lucky enough during my two days in Buenos Aires to squeeze in a couple of hours of sightseeing in between meetings and dinner.  My hotel was near Recoleta Cemetery, and since this is one of the more famous places in this city, and as rain was threatening, I thought this the best place to go.  I was not disappointed.

Recoleta Cemetery is the resting place of most every famous Argentinean from Eva Peron to Luis Firpo.  It is filled with above ground family tombs, some hundreds of years old, some more modern.  Some pictures follow.

A Few Pictures from the Taj Mahal

I promised these a while back...

A Noisy Night in Buenos Aires

I was warned the day before that this would happen, but on the night I arrived in Buenos Aires last week, massive street protests against the government had been planned.  Violent crime, runaway inflation and endemic corruption have become major issues in this country and more than a few Argentinians appear to be fed up.  My hotel was around a mile from the gathering points, but there were many people marching past the hotel carrying flags, banging on pots and pans and shouting.  As interesting as this would have been to see up close, I thought it best to stay inside the hotel (dissidents have not always been warmly greeted by the Argentine government).

The following day, the government estimated the crowd to be around 700,000 people.  All remained peaceful.

To Push, or Not to "Puxe"?

As I am approaching a door with my Brazilian colleague in Sao Paulo, I see a sign on the door which reads "PUXE".  I asked my friend "how do you pronounce that?", to which she replies "Poosh".  Of course, push!  I march into the door and give it a vigorous push but the door doesn't move, I slam face-first into it, and my friend is practically peeing her pants laughing.  "WTF?"  As it turns out, "puxe" may sound like "push", but it means "pull".

It's funny how the brain works some times.  I now know that the portuguese word "puxe" means to pull, But every time I approach a door in Brazil with a "puxe" sign on it, I still want to push...



Found the image at http://www.scottkirkwood.com/2007_09_01_archive.html.  Fitting!

My Brazilian colleague has the same problem in America, except when she sees a "push" sign, she pulls...





Brazil Haiku #1

Driving through Brazil

Finally out of traffic

Oh S#!%, a speed bump!

Most places around the world use speed bumps to prevent accidents in high traffic areas like parking lots, apartment complexes, schools, etc...  In Brazil, not only are the speed bumps huge, but they are everywhere; before and after nearly every insection, in the middle of open stretches of rural roads, randomly placed in towns and countryside alike.  It seems like you never get up to the posted speed limit for long before - "Damn - another one!".  And it's not like you can just glide over them - not unless you want to compress your spine, break your teeth and perforate the roof of the car with your skull.  My local colleague tells me that without these in place, people in Brazil drive too fast and have too many accidents.  Maybe this is true, maybe not, but they do add considerably to the amount of time it takes to get anywhere. 

A Few More Pictures from Atibaia, Brazil

They don't play "slug bug" in Brazil...  Too bad!

A fixer-upper

Caipirinha - Maybe the Perfect Drink on a Hot Day!

I was introduced to the caipirinha on my first trip to Brazil and I was hooked!  I am not sure why I like this drink so much.  Perhaps it is the right combination of tart and sweet.  Maybe it's just the simplicity of it - lime, sugar and cane rum and ice - thats basically it. But sitting at a rickety sidewalk table outside of a bar in Brazil on a warm sticky tropical evening, it just tastes perfect! 

Welcome to Atibaia, Brazil (closed on Sundays)

I arrived in Sao Paulo on an overnight flight from Minneapolis via New York.  I managed some fitful intermittent sleep on the plane thanks to Vicodin, but arrived drowsier than ever, probably thanks again to Vicodin...  My contact in Brazil mercifully met me at the airport,  and after a quick breakfast of I don't remember and holy s#!$ strong coffee, she dropped me at the tiny Vilaverde Hotel in Atibaia (pronounced ah-chee-bye'-ah). 

This hotel room, typical in Brazil I am told has no alarm clock, a door which uses metal keys, no hangers in the closet, the smallest TV I have seen in years, and several switches on the walls which seem to control nothing.  I asked for an iron and ironing board at the front desk - this required some pantomime, and the desk clerk arrived 30 minutes later with only a well worn iron.  His english is only slightly more useful than my 4 words of portuguese, but he apparently thought I had my own ironing board - the hotel has none.  I thought of asking "why do you have an iron but no ironing board?".  I really wanted to say "dude, did you see me carry in a f&*#!!) ironing board", but I thought it unproductive in the end as he could easily come kill me in my sleep.  I attempted instead to iron my clothes on the bathroom counter (not recommended) and eventually settled on steam from the shower.

By the way, I really like the hotel - the place is clean and the view is pretty nice!

Even in my groggy state I could not sleep so I decided to find some lunch.  I wandered the streets of Atibaia which is full or shops, restaurants and bars for a full hour- all of these are apparently closed on Sunday.  I did manage a bite at the hotel later.  Anyway it was a good walk around a scenic town.

Notice the shuttered doors and lack of people - kind of an "I am Legend" moment...